Morale-oriented programming

I want a new language. Heck, it doesn’t even have to be a new one; just rename an old one. But I want this language to do something that no other language has tried to do, something easy but too-long overlooked: help a programmer fell good about him/herself.

Expressive syntax? High-level abstraction? Just-in-time compilation? While great, these things don’t make you feel awesome about yourself. What can? It’s simple: a language named ‘bad-ass’.

Imagine it. You’ll spend all day working in a bad-ass editor, writing bad-ass code. You’ll develop bad-ass modules and libraries, and maybe link them into big, bad-ass applications or bad-ass websites. You may occasionally have some bugs, of course, but your bad-ass debugger will make short work of that. If some marketing suit ever looks over your shoulder and asks what you’re doing, you can say “It’s bad-ass.” So true.

And at the end of the day, as you finish your last cup of coffee and contemplate what you’ve done, you’ll be able to hold your head high because there will be one thing you know for certain: You, sir or madam, are a bad-ass programmer.

I bet you’re already feeling better! And you haven’t even written a single line of bad-ass code in your life. Now imagine feeling this good every day. You can, because the future is bad-ass.


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